I appreciate your patience as I was traveling these past two weeks. Zoya and I have been traveling almost every week this summer but, not the relaxing, vacation kind, the working, busy, chaotic, exhausting, everything-seems-to-go-wrong kind. For instance, two days ago we got back from a 2-week trip through Istabul & Greece, and at this current moment I still don’t know where in the world my checked bag is lmao) All that doesn’t exactly put me in the right headspace to write.
I’ll admit, though, this summer has been a whirlwind. Between some health issues, the traveling, the missed flights, and the fact that I may never see my suitcase again, it's been... a lot. It’s like we’ve been chasing our own tails. Every time we think we’re finally about to get a breather, something else gets thrown into the mix. I blame myself because, in the spring, I wrote in my journal that I wanted to be booked & busy, and let me tell you, we are both of those things.
As this Substack has been more like a test to me, essentially trying on a new platform and seeing how it fits, I am going to try something different and open it up to be free—for now. Truthfully, if I don’t feel like I can devote 110% of my time and energy to something—I hate to make you pay for it. And not that I don’t want to devote 110% of my energy to it, but my priority still lies in creating videos. This is just a fun way to use a different part of my brain, connect, and get deeper with all of you.
The goal of starting on any platform, and I have my experience on many, is to grow. So I also want to give this space the best shot at it. I don’t want to abandon the platform altogether because I, for one, have really enjoyed talking with you all in this way. It’s slower, refreshing, and also feels like a safe community when so much of the internet feels like a witch hunt. And who knows, maybe opening up this platform to free takes the pressure off a little, so I feel inspired to show up even more. At the end of the day, I always prefer to create when inspiration strikes, rather than to just keep up with the fast-paced joneses of the internet.
That said, I’m not giving up on this space—far from it! If anything, I hope this helps it expand. I still want to use this platform as a way to reflect, to share those behind-the-scenes moments that don’t always make it into a video or a post. It's where I can get a little more personal, messy, and real with you all. Think of this as our little corner where we can slow down and catch our breath, away from the hustle, the edits, the chaos, and the camera angles. (Ok, maybe not totally away from the chaos, but hey, it’s me.)
Frankly, as you may have noticed—I’m not the kind of food creator who shares weekly recipes. For me, that feels a little been there, done that. I hope to provide value to you in other ways, and share recipes as a cherry on top. I’ve given myself the grace & space to allow my career to evolve as I do. It’s funny every time I talk to someone older, (which I highly recommend everyone take the time to do!!!) they tell how many careers they have had over the course of their life, how many variations of self they have transformed into and through, how many different lifetimes they have lived. But when you’re earlier on in life, in the thick of it, solidifying your identity as it relates to your career, it’s hard to allow the transformations to take place.
And so, while my content here may be sporadic, I still want to keep you in the loop. I’ll write when inspiration strikes, when I feel like I have something worth sharing, or when I need a place to sort through the madness that is my life right now. And, of course, to share more of those stories—like three days ago, when our flight from Athens to Paris was delayed, which caused us to miss our connection to LA, which also meant I would be missing a very important zoom sales conference for my cookbook (eek!!!). Instead, I had just minutes before boarding an 11-hour flight (that would have NO WIFI), to film and upload a very chaotic (even for me) video in the bathroom of Charles De Gaulle airport for them to play at the conference. Maybe one day I’ll post that video for you to watch; it’s a good one—toilet and all.
After our missed flight, we had to spend the night in Paris—which of course, isn’t the worst thing in the world—but for the entire two week trip we lugged our carry-on suitcases with us rather than checking them. Of course, as the Universe would have it, THE ONE flight we decided to check them was the one that got messed up. Despite being tired, homesick (*cough dogsick cough*) we wanted to make the best of it. Plus Zoya & I have always dreamed of going to Paris together (just in more of a romantic way lol). So we strolled around the chilly streets of Paris at night in only our plane clothes, went to a fancy restaurant despite our unfit attire, and in the morning, went to a boulangerie to enjoy freshly baked chocolate croissants (and let me tell you, I prefer being stuck in Paris eating a chocolate croissant than making one, LOL).
If you don’t remember, one of my first viral successes on YouTube was making chocolate croissants. So, as I sat there in that boulangerie in Paris, I couldn't help but look back and think of all the versions of myself I have been since then. It already feels like lifetimes ago. I can only imagine how I’ll feel in 50 years, but for now, reflecting on my past feels like a little peak into my future.
So, here’s to embracing the chaos, and allowing for transformation. Thank you for sticking with me through each version of me.
SIDE NOTE: For our new flight home, Air France rebooked us on Air Tahiti. Everyone was on their way to Tahiti, and the vibes were HIGH. I’m taking it as a sign I need a real vacation—the relaxing kind. Hopefully, this is another peak into the (very near future). Let me go write this into my journal STAT.
Catch you soon, hopefully with a little less jet lag and maybe even my luggage in hand.
Much love,
Alix
This hit “But when you’re earlier on in life, in the thick of it, solidifying your identity as it relates to your career, it’s hard to allow the transformations to take place.”
So far my best memories have been my most chaotic ones💜 Hope you rest and recharge soon.