Success

and other nonsense

Hi friends!

A here, back with more musings and life updates. This newsletter is basically my personal journal at this point, but hey, you’re along for the ride. Zoya sends her love and, with some luck, maybe I’ll get her to drop some words of wisdom next time—though convincing her feels a bit like waiting for a text back from a toxic ex.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this elusive thing we all seem to chase: success. It’s been lurking in my mind because, if I’m honest, it often shows up when I’m feeling my lowest. Those moments that spark a mini existential crisis and make me think, “Wait... am I even doing life right?” You know the drill. It’s wild how much power we give to this one word—SUCCESS. It sounds so big, yet so vague, like it should come with a neon sign or confetti cannons when you finally “arrive,” but instead, it’s just... a word.

We’ve been sold this idea from day one that success is the ultimate prize, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if you just work hard enough, hustle enough, and keep your eye on the prize. But what if success isn’t the grand finale we all imagine? What if it’s not a single, shiny moment but something softer, something that happens along the way? What if success is more of a feeling than a finish line?

I used to think success was this definitive moment when you could finally say, “I made it.” Like crossing some kind of threshold where suddenly everything’s perfect. But here’s the thing: the more I grow in my career and personal life, the more I realize that success is a lot more... messy (you know I love a mess). It’s not one big, sweeping achievement but a million tiny moments that build on each other. It’s the choices we make every day, the love we pour into what we do, and the way we keep showing up, even when we’re feeling all kinds of lost.

Take my relationship with Zoya, for example. A few years ago, I would’ve thought success in a relationship meant hitting milestones—moving in together, getting engaged, married, checking off that life to-do list. But now? Now that I have it all, I see success in our daily rhythms. It’s in the way we laugh, support each other, and sometimes (most times) challenge each other, because unfortunately, growth doesn’t happen in the comfort zone. It’s choosing each other every day, even when one of us is grumpy (usually Zoya) and the other’s too tired to deal (also Zoya). It’s in the little things, the stuff you don’t actually see in the highlight reel.

Same goes for my career. I used to think success meant reaching a certain number of followers, landing some big deal, or having my name up in lights. And yeah, those moments are cool, but they’re not the whole picture. Success is also in the late-night kitchen experiments, the near-disasters that somehow turn into magic, the transformation of ingredients and myself, and the joy of creating and sharing something that makes people happy. It’s in the mess, in the process, in the fact that we get to do what we love—even when it’s chaos.

And isn’t it funny? This summer, I’ve done things I only ever dreamed about. I mean, last week, I was at the White House. THE WHITE HOUSE. Most people would look at that and say, “Wow, now that’s success.” And yet… guess how different I feel? (Spoiler: not much.) It’s like, the stuff that’s supposed to make you feel like you’ve ‘made it’ doesn’t always hit the way you think it will. Sure, it’s surreal, but I’m still me, figuring things out, probably overthinking it, and wondering if I left the oven on.

slay

And maybe the biggest thing I’ve learned is that success is actually in the legacy we’re building. Not just what we leave behind, but how we live every day—the kindness, patience, and joy we bring into the world. It’s how we show up, not just for ourselves, but for the people we care about and the communities we’re part of. When we let our true selves shine, we create space for others to do the same. That’s real impact.

So yeah, success is messy and complicated, but maybe that’s what makes it beautiful. It’s not a destination but a series of steps, choices, and moments we’re stringing together as we go. And if we can embrace that, maybe—just maybe—we’ll feel a little more peace and a lot more joy in the process.

This week, I’m challenging both myself and you to stop looking at success as some far-off finish line and start seeing it in the everyday stuff—the love, the laughter, the little victories. It’s all happening right now, whether we see it or not.

Until next week, let’s keep making a beautiful mess out of this journey called life.

Enjoy this picture of me at the White House, SUCCESS!

With love and butter,
A

P.S. Hit reply and tell me if this resonates! What topics should I cover next time?